The year 2010 was a hard time for me because I lost my parents to cancer. They died six months apart. My father had been sick for awhile,he handle himself as best he could taking his medication and staying upbeat ,but by early 2010 the cancer had taken its toll and he died in his sleep. It was one week before Father's Day. My mother had just had knee surgery and was getting back on her feet when all of a sudden she started losing weight. She went to the doctor on a Friday and had exploratory surgery on Monday. She was told she had cancer and it was at Stage IV. The cancer had spread to her liver. She died on December 22.
I knew they wouldn't live forever, but of course it hurts. I had my parents for 38 years and then I didn't. I felt lost for a bit but I"m grateful I had them as long as I did. I know they are at peace and in a better place. I realized that life is short and I needed to be honest with myself about how I felt a little lost. I came to the conclusion that I wasn't really living I was just existing; I wasn't taking care of me. I stopped working out, I stopped doing things that bought me joy, and I started pushing people away. I have since taken "baby steps" in improving my self by going back to school and getting my health in order by seeing my doctor after lying to myself "if I feel fine there's no reason to go" excuse. I have a little girl to raise and I can't take her if I don't take care of myself.
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